Did you ever feel like you needed something more in your life?
That’s how I felt after having my two kids. It’s a truly galling feeling – one that wracked with guilt and had me questioning my love for my family and my very reason for being.
I had children relatively late in life.
Like many female professionals in today’s modern age – I’ve always put my own personal development over my ‘love life’. I’ve never deemed finding a ‘one true love’ as an aim in life, or a particular milestone that I had to reach at a certain point. I’ve never been gripped with that desperate fear of being alone, that has paralysed friends and women much younger than I.
So when I happened to bump into the man that would become my husband, at a business meeting 5 years ago, I was pleasantly surprised to find myself in love. Soon I was happily tripping off into the sunset (after a small, intimate wedding).
After a 15 year long career in the marketing business, I’d had my fill of the corporate nature of the job. The endless consultation meetings, the ever evolving encyclopaedia of buzz words and whatever technical jargon that happened to be in style at the moment. In short, I was ready for a break.
After an extended honeymoon, travelling with Harold for a year, we had to return to London.
He went back to work and I found myself pregnant, eagerly awaiting the arrival of my first child. Although I did not miss the backhanded compliments and endless scheming of the corporate sector – I have to admit that I began pining for the hectic action of office life much sooner than expected. Our little 3-bed in Kensington felt a great deal bigger when I was the only one knocking around it and I soon found myself talking to myself – preferring my own inane chat to the drivel that played on daytime television.
After Alex was born, the emotion and responsibility of motherhood consumed me for the first three months. He was all I cared about – I quite happily filled my time with doting upon him, researching advice on Mumsnet and baking cakes. But this didn’t last for long.
Raising children is by no means a simple task.
However, if it’s the only thing you have to focus on (and you’ve recently freed up over 40 hours a week of your spare time) you soon slip into a system of rituals and routines that make each day start to feel worryingly mundane. Of course, the tasks change over the months and years, but I soon found that my mind was woefully unstimulated. The arrival of a second child (my darling Milly), although joyful, did not help ease the worries that I was somehow not doing as much as I could.
For a few weeks after Milly was born, I tormented myself over the feelings of ennui that had overcome me. That’s when Harold decided to take some time work off himself and give me the space I needed to start pursuing my own thing.
That’s why I started Lickety Splits Gallery – to channel my creative juices, to vent the bags of mental energy I’ve had stored up for the last two years and to inform my readers about all the best fashion for both you and your kids!